The Way I Loved You
by kerrykhat
Summary: I missed never knowing what to expect. At the time, I had hated it, but now...I yearned for it.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing. It's those nice people at Nickelodeon who own Avatar and that nice girl Taylor Swift who owns the song, "The Way I Loved You."**

"You two are so cute together!" Suki squealed as we walked towards our respective boyfriends. I smiled and nodded as Aang opened the car door and helped me in.

"You look beautiful tonight," he told me as he gave me a small kiss before he closed the door. I smiled to myself and took stock of my life.

Ever since I had started going out with Aang, all of my girlfriends, especially Suki and Yue, had been gushing about how cute we were together. Toph, a bit more reserved than everyone else, even gave her tacit approval, although I'm sure she knew that I was simply fine with Aang. Not wonderful, not fantastic, simply fine. I mean, he's a nice boy, he's extremely polite, but even though we got along great, there's just something missing.

_He is sensible and so incredible  
And all my single friends are jealous  
He says everything I need to hear and it's like  
I couldn't ask for anything better  
He opens up my door and I get into his car  
And he says you look beautiful tonight  
And I feel perfectly fine_

Everything was going fine on our double date. My brother, Sokka, and Suki were celebrating their first anniversary with loud sighs and intense bouts giggling, while Aang and I were quietly celebrating our one-month anniversary with small smiles. Nothing dramatic, nothing out of the ordinary, simply a boy and a girl out on a date. As I was getting up to go to the bathroom, I accidently bumped into someone.

"Sorry," I mumbled as strong arms caught me. Strong, _familiar_ arms. Looking up, I bit my cheek to keep myself from gasping. Zuko, my ex, gave me a small smile and ignored the glares from my brother and boyfriend.

"Just watch where you're going next time," he told me in that soft, sexy voice of his. I nodded, trying not to think of the times we had together. There was a good reason why I had ended it: Our time together seemed like a never-ending fight, with each of us screaming at the other, only to be literally kissing and making up seconds later. It was unhealthy, it was insane, and for some reason, I missed every minute of it.

_But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name  
You're so in love that you act insane  
And that's the way I loved you  
Breakin' down and coming undone  
It's a roller coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you_

Aang was quiet as he walked me back to my front door. "I had a good time this evening, Aang," I told him, giving him a small smile and giving his hand a small squeeze. "Do you want to come inside for a bit?"

"No thanks," he said, giving me a small kiss on my cheek. "I'll call you tomorrow though and we can talk about our summer break plans. What time works for you?"

"One?" I suggested. I knew he would keep his promise, unlike certain people who used to be in my life. He also got along with my parents, a small miracle in itself. Hell, he even got along with Sokka, who normally hates the boys I dated. Maybe it's because there was no risk of me doing anything stupid with Aang. Aang was too polite, to damn conscientious to do anything crazy. He would just give me that wide, bright grin and everything seemed right in the world, if only for a few seconds. Watching him go back to his car and driving off, I felt calm, but not at peace.

_He respects my space and never makes me wait  
And he calls exactly when he says he will  
He's close to my mother, talks business with my father  
He's charming and endearing and I'm comfortable_

I couldn't get my memories of Zuko out of my head that night. My clock slowly inched towards two in the morning and I was nowhere closer to falling asleep. Tossing and turning, I replayed the memory of our first kiss time and time again. It had been a rainy night, right before we started seriously dating. He had said something stupid and I had gotten mad at him, which was the typical pattern for all of our arguments. I went outside into the rain for a few moments to collect myself.

"Damn arrogant jerk," I ranted to myself as I walked through the rain, ignoring the fact that I was becoming completely soaked. "The nerve…" Hearing something, I turned around, only to see Zuko standing a few paces behind me. "Why the hell are you following me?" I yelled at him. "Didn't have enough of our fight and needed to get some more?"

"Oh that's rich coming from you, Katara," he sneered, his shaggy black hair becoming plastered to his face and partially covering up the scar that defined his face. "Like you don't try and seek me out to provoke an argument."

"I…what?!" I shouted at him. "Are you delusional? If I had it my way, I wouldn't see you at all."

"Well trust me, the feeling's mutual" he assured me, stepping closer. Before either of us realized it, we were clutching each other and kissing passionately. I found myself pressing his face closer to mine and running my fingers through his hair, absorbing the shock and seeking more and more. We broke apart for a breathless minute before diving in hungrily once more.

_But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name  
You're so in love that you act insane  
And that's the way I loved you  
Breakin' down and coming undone  
It's a roller coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you_

There were times with Aang when I felt that there was a smile plastered to my face. Not because I was happy, but because everyone expected me to be happy. Here I was, dating this great guy, who would sacrifice the world for me and I wasn't happy. I mean, what is wrong with me? I refuse to see that smirk on Zuko's face when he sees us together, as if he knows what I'm thinking. That arrogant jerk.

After another day at school, I'm walking home by myself. Swim practice had started its post-season push, which meant that I was staying at school later than most of my friends. Aang had volunteered to walk me home, but I laughed him off. I needed time to think, to think about us and why I felt so disconnected. Walking along the familiar route, I realized that's what was wrong with Aang.

He was so _normal_, so routine, that there were no surprises in our relationship. I could expect with almost uncanny precision what he would buy me for my birthday or an anniversary. I was bored. I missed the excitement and the craziness of my relationship with Zuko. I missed never knowing what to expect. At the time, I had hated it, but now in light of the monotony of my new relationship, I yearned for it. But it was in the past now; ended over some stupid argument. I forgot what it had been about, but it had been so bad that neither of us would admit that the other was right and we were wrong. One stupid argument and our pride was enough to end a relationship that had lasted almost a year.

_He can't see the smile I'm faking  
And my heart's not breaking  
Cause I'm not feeling anything at all  
And you were wild and crazy  
Just so frustrating intoxicating complicated  
Got away by some mistake and now_

That night, it rained; no, rain isn't the right word. It poured, sheets and sheets of rain, reminding me more and more of Zuko. I paced the confines of my room like a caged beast, desperate to escape my cage-like room. Finally, I couldn't take it any more. Grabbing my coat and ignoring my parent's shouted questions, I walked into the night.

I wandered aimlessly until I reached the park where I used to play as a kid. Half-heartedly, I wiped off the seat of a swing and sat down. _It would've been our first anniversary_, I realized sadly as I looked around at the abandoned play structures.

I don't know how long I sat there in the pouring rain, waiting for some sign, some signal for what I should do. I didn't want to break Aang's heart by breaking up with him, but I wasn't happy. Could I be happy with anyone? These thoughts played on repeat as I swung, feeling the rain stinging my face and plastering my hair to my face.

After about thirty minutes, I heard footsteps behind me. "Katara, you OK?" Turning around, I saw Zuko, standing much like he had over a year ago when we had first kissed. I gave him a small half-smile.

"Yeah, just thinking."

"In the rain? At night?"

"OK, so maybe not my brightest idea, but I needed to get out of the house for a bit." He didn't say anything but sat on the swing next to me. "So, why are you here then?" I asked, slightly curious.

"Your brother got worried and called me. I don't know why he called me instead of Aang, but here I am, chasing after my ex-girlfriend in the rain."

"Wait…_Sokka_ called you?" I was shocked. Sokka and Zuko did not get along, one of the many sources of arguments between Zuko and I.

"Don't look at me. I just complied with his request to check up on you." We sat in silence for a few more moments. Sighing, I got up, only to find Zuko had grabbed my hand.

"Before you go, answer me: Do you miss it?"

_I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
It's 2am and I'm cursing your name  
I'm so in love that I acted insane  
And that's the way I loved you  
Breaking down and coming undone  
It's a roller coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you oh, oh_

I looked him in the eye. "What do you think?" I answered before freeing my hand from his and walking away.

The next day after school, I found Aang sitting by the bleachers and sat down beside him. He reached out to hold my hand before I jerked it away. What was it with people trying to hold my hands?

"I can't do this any more," I blurted out, too ashamed to look at him. "I like you Aang, you're a great guy, but…"

"You want to break up?" he asked me, a sad and knowing look on face. I nodded, feeling like shit for doing this to him.

He gave me one of his smiles, only slightly sadder and smaller than normal. "It's…it's fine Katara. I should have expected this. I mean, you're always so quiet around me and the last few weeks you've just been acting distracted."

"It's nothing you did, Aang," I told him, looking at the ground. "I should be happy, I want to be happy, but I'm not." He listened as I talked to him, rambling about what I had been thinking the last few weeks. I felt even worse when I was done; here was a guy who obviously adored me but was understanding enough to accept that I was still half-in love with my ex.

School let out for summer a week later, leaving me at loose ends. I visited my Gran-Gran and her husband Pakku in Seattle for most of it, working as a lifeguard at the pool Pakku managed. By the time I returned to school, most of the school had forgotten Aang and I had dated. To my surprise, Aang and Toph had started dating over the summer and had become inseparable.

My life soon settled into a pattern of sorts, with school in the morning, water polo practice in the afternoon and homework at night. I was now the only unattached girl in my group of friends, so I found myself spending many of my Saturday nights alone while they were on dates with their significant others. Suki and some of her friends from rugby had tried to set me up on a blind date with one of the girl's brothers, but it had gone nowhere.

I was getting ready to drive home from water polo practice one brisk October afternoon when, to my surprise, I found Zuko leaning against my car. My breath involuntarily hitched for a moment, and I paused, unsure of what to do. There had been rumors of him hooking up with one of his sister's friends, but that rumor proved to be untrue when the same girl had vehemently denied it by simply ignoring him.

"Zuko," I greeted him politely, crossing my arms and giving him a curious look. He smirked and walked over to me.

"Whatever happened between you and Aang?" he asked, looking at me directly in the eyes. "Because, from what I hear, you two broke up right after we had our little talk in the park." Oh, that arrogant bastard. I could tell by his smirk that he already knew what the answer was going to be.

"I think you already know, Zuko," I told him, giving him a small smile. His smirk only got bigger as he looked down on me. "So, is there any other reason you're here, or was it only to confirm the truth behind the rumors?"

"I had one more reason, but I wanted to be sure," he answered quietly before leaning down to kiss me. Almost involuntarily, I drew closer to him and wrapped my arms around him as he pulled me closer. We broke apart, leaning on each other both for support and for comfort.

"I missed that," he whispered into my ear, his breath softly tickling my cheek. I smiled and drew back a little.

"So did I," I confessed. "Now, where were we?"

_And that's the way I loved you oh, oh  
Never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you_


End file.
